Quirks 20-23

20. Toilets are fun.

The toilets with the seat warmers and the bidets are so last year. Toilets in Japan these days open their own lid when they see you coming and close their own lid when you leave:

(Note the toilet slippers…)

You can also get toilets that open their own lid AND have a light in the bowl that comes on when it sees you coming. The light has a suitable low-wattage with a blue tinge that is intended not to interrupt your sleep-walking rambles:

Here’s a close up of the control panel:

(From left to right you can: turn the lid opening off, flush no.1s and no.2s, wash your butt – powerfully and mildly, wash your genitals, blow dry, adjust the strength of the water with the toggle and at the bottom there are buttons to adjust the positioning of the water stream, have a ‘wide stream’ (I wonder if that’s for when you do a no.3?) and have a water massage. I also like how it also incorporates the toilet paper rolls.)

I’ve mentioned this before, but the ‘Sound Princess’ makes toilets fun too!

(It emits a sound like a flushing toilet to cover the sound of you doing a splash or a tinkle. You’ll nearly almost always find them in ladies’ toilets where it’s standard practice to flush the toilet while you’re doing your business to mask the sound of you actually doing your business.)

The penetration of the iPhone into Japan meant that people just had to make applications so you can use your iPhone if there is no Sound Princess to use. Here’s the ‘bathroom happy house’ application:

(You get your choice of the sound of water running or birds chirping)

And if you don’t have an iPhone you can get yourself a portable version to keep in your purse:

 

Or one on a strap you can keep handy on your mobile phone:

Lots of toilets in homes incorporate a wash basin in the top of the toilet to save water and many people make them more fun by filling them with plastic flowers or other decorations:

Figuring out how to flush the toilet can make the experience fun also. Sometimes there’s a lever on the side of the tank, sometimes there’s a lever behind the lid and sometimes there’s a hand sensor that you wave your hand in front of to make it flush:

21. Buying an envelope is really hard work.

This is what you’ll be confronted with if you go to the envelope section in any department store or shop that sells stationery:

So what’s with all the envelopes? Well, money is given as a gift in many situations and it’s extremely rude to give ‘naked money’ i.e. money not in an envelope. Being Japan, of course, there have to be different envelopes for different situations and these are some of the main envelopes:

Envelopes for wedding money

Envelope for funeral money

(It looks a bit similar to a wedding one and I’ve heard stories of ‘aliens’ giving the wrong envelope and then needing to fall on their sword…)

Envelope for giving money to someone in a play, someone who is giving a speech, or doing some other public performance

Envelopes for giving children money at New Year

Envelope for giving someone their salary

(Generally employees in Japan get paid once a month and it’s still quite common to pay in cash. Receiving a big wad of cash is always fun!)

Envelopes you get at the bank

If you withdraw money they will give you an envelope and you can also find stocks of envelopes next to the ATM. Each bank has its own purdy design. You can use these envelopes for general money-giving. When I used to tutor people I’d always receive my fee in one of these envelopes or a special envelope you can buy to pay tuition.

Oh and when you give money it always has to be in new notes. You can’t give folded or old notes so it’s standard practice to go to the bank and exchange your old notes for new notes or to ask for new notes when you make a withdrawal.

(That’s a pile of 10,000 yen notes with 10,000 yen equal to about $100)

22. It’s not as expensive as you think.

I remember all the horror stories about $100 watermelons and steak that costs $50 for 100g and while you can certainly buy things like that in Japan, the average person can live very cheaply. One great place to shop is the 100 yen stores:

The are over 2,500 of these stores called Daiso and they’re recently spreading overseas as well. There are also other 100 yen stores chains like Hyakkin and a lot of supermarkets have a 100 yen section. You can buy food, clothing, plates, stationery and just about everything you’d ever need or want in one of these places and the quality is very high. Daiso is where I bought my first bondage goods collection (from the pet section of course!)

Another cheap thing is all-you-can-drink ‘drink bars’ that are a feature of many restaurants. They usually cost only a couple of dollars and you can drown yourself in all manner of soft drinks, cappuccino, coffees, tea and some of them even have slushies:

100 yen sushi restaurants are superb for a cheap feast. You can occasionally find 88 yen sushi places too, but 100 yen are the most common. Along with sushi they often have noodles, soup and a range of desserts like cake, fruit and parfait.

You also can’t beat cheap bento. There are many take-away places that will make you fresh bento on the spot for under $5 and you can always find a large selection in a supermarket or department store for next-to-nothing:

An even better trick is to wait until an hour or so before the store is going to close and they’ll stick half-price stickers on everything not sold.

(This bento was originally 278 yen, but thanks to the half-price sticker it’s 139 yen – that’s $1.50!!)

Free food samples are also a great way to eat on the cheap. Any department store basement is filled with samples you can nibble on and in touristy areas you can find samples of souvenir cakes and sweets.

(These are sausages in case you were wondering…)

Things at the supermarket are also cheaper or are mostly on par with prices in Australia. Here are some supermarket catalogue prices:

(Eggs 10 for 98 yen, 1kg flour for 158 yen, leeks 88 yen, edamame (baby soy beans) 78 yen for 100g, 520g sirloin steak 1,500 yen, chutoro tuna 100g for 498 yen)

(Bunch of asparagus 78 yen, mushrooms 98 yen per packet, bread 118 yen, 250g nescafe instant coffee 598 yen, 1 litre milk 158 yen, 100g pork 98 yen, carrots/potatoes/onions 40 yen each)

23. Gift-giving is serious stuff.

Japan has a big gift-giving culture from bringing back souvenirs for all your work colleagues when you go somewhere, to giving reciprocal gifts when you receive something from someone. Once the gift-giving cycle starts, it’s an endless continuum of receiving, giving, receiving, giving and when you give something, it has to be presented correctly.

Here’s an explanatory diagram of how to wrap a box correctly:

Fortunately, if you buy a gift for someone somewhere other than the 100 yen shop they will always wrap it for you for free. If you take something to the cash register in Japan, the first question out of the sales assistant’s mouth will be, ‘Is it a gift?’ You’ll often get your choice of paper and ribbon colours and they’ll place it in a paper bag that completes the presentation.

(I sometimes used to say it was a gift even when I was buying it for me, just because unwrapping stuff is so much fun!)

If you’re giving a seasonal gift (there are two official gift-giving seasons where you have to send people you have a social debt with i.e. your boss, your in-laws, your English teacher etc. a gift) or a gift for a special occasion, you need to put a special paper seal on it that states what the gift is for and your name:

As I said, the whole package down to the bag that the gift is in are important and there is a special ‘air of superiority’ about something from a well-known department store, so even if you didn’t buy the gift there, you can still purchase one their paper bags from their handy paper bag vending machines, put your gift in it and boost your standing in the eyes of the gift receiver:

Oh and never open a gift in front of someone. Open things in private, preferably after you’ve gone home where you can drown your sorrows about getting caught up in the gift-giving cycle alone.